My four year old son, however, has recently shown me up. On a recent trip to Baltimore the whole family sat down for a late lunch outside on a sunny afternoon. While the adults dined tapas-style, the children grazed on their grilled cheese sandwiches and fruit. Suddenly my son looked up from his plate, pointed across the table, and exclaimed, “What are those shells doing over in that??”

Calmly, his grandmother responded that that was paella and those shells were actually mussels that you could eat. Disbelieving, my son reached for a mussel and looked inside the ridged dark shell. My heart stopped and my eyes bulged out when my mother-in-law explained how to eat mussels, and my son deliberately put one in his mouth, began to chew, and ate it.

Clearly, I have been underestimating my son. While I know that given enough exposure to different foods children will eat almost anything, I have never seen my son so deliberately choose to try something new and to stretch himself. You couldn’t pay me enough to pop a mussel into my mouth, and here is my young son tossing one back like it was no big deal and then telling everyone that it was truly delicious. I am in awe of his spirit.

Back at home and preparing his uninspired breakfasts and his lackluster dinners, I am reminded of this lunch in Baltimore when my son proved to me that at the tender age of four he is capable of so much more than I suspect. His palate is not yet locked; his destiny is far from written. Given a little encouragement and opportunity, he will continue to surprise and amaze us with what new snacks he might munch on and with what wild, new adventures he might choose to embark on. Not only is it time to start sharing my curry dishes or my husband’s favorite okra and tomatoes with him, but it’s time to start challenging myself and moving out of my comfort zone just like my son is.

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Labor Day recently passed us all by. The picnics, parades, fireworks , and endless speeches always seem to be interpreted as the final celebration of summer. It’s a day that encompasses hard work and play at the same time; it wakes us up to the reality of another school year, another year of hard work while we barbeque and party to our hearts content . It made me wonder: Are work and play really that different from one another, and should they be compartmentalized as such?
          In the mind of my toddler, work and play are one in the same; it is hard work to build a stack of blocks or attempt to color a picture within the lines, but she loves to do these things as well. It made me realize that work, and play both have something immensely important in common with one another: passion. I began to think about the different jobs people in my life have, and whether they were happy in their jobs or not. Those who chose their jobs on account of intense passion for their vocation are extremely happy, while those who simply want a paycheck see their jobs as a means to an end. It made me think of how I want my child to view a job. I want her to be passionate about what she accomplishes in life, to find meaning in her daily tasks. I want her to find a job where she can ‘play hard.’ I don’t believe that a job should be laborious; it should fill the soul.
           It’s hard to live by such a manifesto as a parent. I not only have to reach for my dreams, but I have to teach my little one to reach for hers, which might mean she has to take risks, which might mean she falls flat on her feet a few times, and it is quite hard to watch your child, no matter how old, fall flat on his or her feet. I intend to remind myself on this past Labor Day, and the others that will come, that my child is the only person who knows her dreams, goals and aspirations. Whether that means she wants to be a lady on a flying trapeze, a policewoman, a doctor, or social worker…I cannot say. I only need to guide her to listen to her inner voice, to give her the confidence to follow her dreams, like a tiny Don Quixote reaching for stars that everyone else tells her are beyond her grasp.

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On a family vacation to the mountains of Asheville, NC, my children were playing in a field near the cabin where we were staying. Suddenly, my son stopped his digging in the sand, stood up straight, and exclaimed, “What is THAT?” I followed his outstretched arm and had to laugh when I saw what had captivated his attention. Standing in the grass near him was a horseshoe pit.

With all the beauty of the mountains at dusk, the twinkling fireflies, and the gently burbling stream in the background what my son just had to investigate was a horseshoe pit. He carefully approached the sandpit and gingerly picked up a horseshoe and whispered, “What is this?” When I told him it was a horseshoe, he very solemnly declared, “This is something new for me. I have never, ever seen a horseshoe before.”

And then it hit me. I’ve overestimated my child. When I think of special “firsts,” I think on a grand scale. I think of flying on an airplane, riding on a fire truck, or dancing in the surf at the beach. For my son, however, every day can be full of brand new events. Seeing a horseshoe in a field was a genuine thrill for my son and one of the first things that he told our neighbor about when we returned home.

As a parent, I spend a lot of time scheduling events for my children. We have playdates with friends, we go out for pastries in the mornings, and we explore new museums. To keep things exciting, we don’t do the “same old thing” all that often. And I’m beginning to realize that it’s not my children’s needs that I am catering to by wanting to do “new and exciting” things all the time, but it is my own need for the novel. My children are quite content looking for the unusual in their everyday life—the butterfly snacking on the flowering vine in the front yard, the blue fire truck in the town next door, or the horseshoe in the grassy field in the mountains.

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Point Reyes

Even though summer is winding down, there is always time to fly a kite.  When I was young, my first kite was a replica of Snoopy.   This was  one of my favorite gifts from my father.  Snoopy lasted for about two weeks until he was caught in a tree.

Last week, I relived my childhood and bought Kai his first kite.   When we passed through Point Reyes Station, I picked out a tie dye octopus kite for our flying adventure at the awesome Into the Blue toy store.

Kids and adults have been enamored by kites for centuries all over the world.  Believed to have originated in China almost 2,000 years ago, every country has unique kites.  In Viet Nam where money is scarce for many families, children make kites out of plastic bags and thin strings.   In India, travelers can find Hindu inspired kites at the festival of Gujarat.  Here in Berkeley, there is a magnificent  festival that welcomes some of the world’s largest kites.  There is nothing like looking into the sky and seeing hundreds of kites flying so freely.

Whether you’re big or small, make some time for kite flying in a meadow or beach nearby.

Before flying a kite, you can review the  Beaufort Scale to determine wind speed:

From Kiteworks.com

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Sometimes when we are short on time, and it’s a really, really hot day, we just freeze some fruit in a container. I cut grapes in half and freeze them. I used to eat grapes like these growing up and my son also loves them. We also freeze small watermelon chunks. (Just make sure they are small enough — and you can thaw them out a little before giving them to your kid — to avoid choking hazards).

Another idea is just to freeze some juice. Lately my son has been asking for bing-bing (his short phrase for ice cream) all the time, so we try to think of cold things that are not ice cream. One time we just put a little bit of juice in a cup and put it in the freezer, and then gave it to him with a spoon. It entertained him for a good 15-20 minutes. None of these treats are great in terms of nutrition, since it seems to take longer to eat frozen vs. regular fruit, but it is fun on a hot day.

We’ve also been making a lot of smoothies. Smoothies are easy because you can basically put anything in them, including greens. If your kid is like mine and picks out the teeniest piece of green onion from his noodles, fried rice, etc., then this is a good way to get to green leafy vegetables in his diet. We followed a smoothie recipe that includes apples, bananas, grapes, yogurt and spinach and you can’t really taste the spinach at all! (There are many “green smoothie” recipes online).

But my favorite smoothie of all is papaya milk smoothie, or papaya milk. I drank a lot of this growing up, especially during the summers in Taiwan. It’s a very popular drink, very easy to make at home, and yummy.

1 cut up papaya (cut in half, scoop out seeds with spoon, and scoop out the “meat” inside)

¼ cup sugar water (heat up 1 cup water and sprinkle a generous amount of sugar in it; stir until sugar melts, then cool. You can save the rest for later use.)

1 cup ice

1 cup milk (I use whole milk)

Put everything in a blender and drink right away.

My son and I both like this drink a lot. You can prepare the papaya ahead of time if you want, by scooping out the meat and putting it in a container in the fridge. We buy the papayas in Chinatown or other Asian supermarkets because they are usually cheaper there (and according to the Environmental Working Group, papayas are among the fruits and veggies considered “consistently clean,” or low/lacking in pesticides).

My son doesn’t eat papaya by itself, I think because it has a pretty strong, distinct smell (I used to think it smelled like feet). But with milk and some sugar, it tastes divine. Did anyone else grow up drinking papaya milk? What are some other hot weather recipes?

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Some sort of space somewhere for the kids to play.  Many times over I’d been told “children don’t play outside during the day … only at night when the heat has passed.”  Even though we figured they knew what they were talking about, we still felt it was important to have green space nearby.

Todd scored in a serious way, with a small park one block away to our left … and a much larger park to our right.  There is even playground!

It looks “normal” right?  JUST like in the States, right? And it’s JUST down the street … walking distance.  We are in heaven.  We had to drive to a playground back home, so this is like amazingly wonderful.

Most days, we find it’s true that children do NOT play outside until much later in the day … close to 6:30 pm or so.  We’re troopers though (either that or we’re BORED) and we go at ANY time of the day, heat or no heat.

We take our cold bottled water and a little package of baby wipes (for cooling our brows) and trek out.

We leave our house and all of the guards snap to attention.  “Good morning (or afternoon) Madam” they say.  We turn the corner and walk past a street cart filled with fruits all displayed just so.  We walk past numerous dogs (street dogs … NOT to be petted) and round the corner near the Dominos and Cafe.  So far, we seem to be the only non-Indian folks out walking and taking strolls.  No matter though, we’re not going to stay “inside” for anything!

We then pass the fresh flowers … dirt cheap and gorgeous, the street cart with icee cones and the man in his normal spot selling baskets … piled high on the back of his bicycle.

It all feels normal to us already.

Guess what else is the same as back home?  The smiles.  We don’t need to know Hindi, and these kiddos don’t need to know a lick of English.

“Fun” looks the same whether you’re in Suburbia somewhere in Ohio … or in the middle of Delhi, India.

I have felt happy tears well up during our outings at the playground.  Watching my kidlets form bonds with these children … who they don’t know and can’t communicate with.  Watching them hold hands with children and take turns on the slide.

[Yesterday, there was a group of street children at the playground.  They seemed to be taking a break from their long day of begging and were simply getting in some playtime.  Out of the 5 that were there, 3 of them were naked ... head to toe.  Mia sat down next to the baby (I'd guess 8-12 months?) and just looked intently.  She didn't say anything except "Hi baby" and then walked away.  Tony also didn't have anything negative to say about their cloth-less bodies except to ask where their parents were.  Fascinating to me to see/hear the way my children are processing all of this.]

[another side note :: I am kind of apprehensive about photo taking. I want to capture dozens of photos, but I want to also respect the subjects of my photos.  I haven't figured out the appropriate way to ask ... or to discreetly snap photos.  Hoping I figure that out soon, because I want to share the images and sights, sounds and smells with you through my camera.]

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One of my favorite things about our lifestyle is we never have to get kids into cars. Zoe just climbs into one of her strollers and we’re off. We have at least four amazing playgrounds in our neighborhood and we’re pretty much guaranteed to run into some of our friends at any one of them on any given sunny morning or afternoon. The neighborhood is also hopping with other activities for little ones such as playgroups, classes, indoor playspaces, gyms with childcare, kid-friendly restaurants, toy and baby clothes stores, preschools and free outdoor activities for children in the summer. When Zoe starts pre-school this Fall her school is literally 10 feet from our building.

We also have a great network of friends right in our building. We meet for playgroups or in the building’s playroom or pool on cold or rainy days. We leave our kids with each other when we have to run non-kid friendly errands. What could be more convenient?
When we’re feeling more ambitious there are of course many things going on in other parts of the city –museums, zoos, restaurants, concerts especially for kids, etc.

Of course, there are certain sacrifices that we make to live in the city and as I mentioned, in the long run we’re not sure that the city is the place where we want our kids to grow up. Some days we dream of a yard and the convenience of pulling up to the grocery store in a car rather than hauling groceries home in our stroller or waiting around for delivery. That said, if and when we do make the move to a less urban environment we will miss many of the great aspects of living in the city with small children.

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I had purchased dolls from the countries we traveled in an effort to create a long-term memory of Olivia’s travels at 4 years old to some spectacular places.  I figured if she played with these dolls from time to time she would think of the experience or it might allow me an opportunity to jog her memory about her travels.  Not to mention the added very important benefit of having dolls that represent the worlds faces, clothing and cultures.  Saudi Arabia had the most wonderful dolls called Arabian Friends. One night in Jeddah we were locked INSIDE Toys R Us during the long evening prayer time (archive post sept 12, 2008) where Olivia and I were elated to see a doll named Dunya that actually looked like my friend named Donya.  We had to have it!  Needless to say, before we left Saudi Arabia we had been back for the entire set which included Dunya’s friends Amal, Ahlam and Muna.  The dolls came with fabulous outfits, shoes, purses and most uniquely important the fancy Abayas and headscarfs. 

Our girls were all gathered on the floor with the 4 Arabian Friends dolls and also the Fula doll, a very popular Arabic version of Barbie with a decent outfit.  Olivia’s friends loved the dolls with their Abayas.  When I told the mommies about the dolls they had to get an up close look at them too and jumped in with the girls to the play circle that had formed.  Once I began talking with the Moms about the dolls, it offered opportunity to discuss Saudi culture with the girls in a simplified way.  I was able to hold up the dolls clothing and tell our girls that by law in the country of Saudi Arabia every woman must wear the Abaya when they go outside their home and that I thought I personally would really dislike it but found it to be no big deal, it was much like putting on a light jacket and I didn’t mind it at all.  I was able to explain the Abaya is part of their strong religious belief and that many women want to wear the Abaya regardless of the law.  I wouldn’t have had those views if I had not traveled to that country.  I also explained that in Egypt it is not the law to wear the Abaya but many women wear it there also out of choice.  

Many people I have spoke with have such strong negative opinions of the culture of Saudi Arabia.  They have never been to Saudi Arabia.  I love to be able to discuss the culture in a positive way and share the cultural knowledge I gained by having the rare and wonderful opportunity to travel there, see for myself and have amazing conversations with women of all ages.  The dolls may feel fun and familiar to my daughter, but they give me a great opportunity for me to share these women’s views.

In the end my mission to expand my young daughters memory, cultural acceptance and cultural diversity extended itself to the four young daughters of my friends.  Each time the girls get together their Arabian friends join them.  And the mommies loved them too!

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From plasticware to shoes, saris and fabrics, vegetables, meat, fish (both live and already processed), live animals, cheeses, grains, spices, stationery, even “American” items like Lucky Charms and Jiff peanut butter.

                                         

This catfish … was a rather hysterical story.  A woman had asked to purchase a catfish … once wrangled out of the blue bucket, he somehow escaped from his plastic bag (en route to be … well … ready to take home for dinner).  He flopped around the market floor for what seemed like an hour as all of the shop owners chased him around.  The kids found THIS rather amusing.

           

Oh … the fabrics…  I think I’ve gone to heaven.  I can NOT wait until my sewing machine arrives!

                         

I’m going to enjoy our times at the markets!  I am looking forward to trying out Khan, Nehru Place and Daali Haat (forgive my spelling?) after the kids start school!

What is something “outside the box” that you might try with your children? Something outside of their comfort zone … outside of their bubble of normal?

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