The campus of school was colorful and the breeze nicely complimented the mission of the day … pinwheels galore were spinning and whirling

The Pinwheels for Peace folks estimate that over 3 million pinwheels were spinning around the world on September 21st.  Cool!

Near the middle school and high school part of the complex, these banners were also displayed.

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mini filipino macaroons

I’ve never considered myself a good cook and we’ve eaten our fair share of take-out and processed foods cooked at home. But lately, I’ve had a recent resurgence of domestication – almost to the point of obsession. I believe I can attribute this plight to the economic recession. I’m trying to save money on food so I can enjoy my other indulgences. Read: dressing my girls in designer and boutique threads that look simply adorable on them. During my quest I have found long lost family recipes – delicious snacks and treats that I enjoyed as a little one.

My recent find is a moist, sweet, and “slightly nutritional” treat that I can’t keep my girls’ hands off. They are so easy and quick to whip up – not to mention they provide a great way to administer fiber in your little one’s diet.

Filipino mini macaroons

14 oz. of shredded coconut

14 oz. can condensed milk

½ tsp vanilla extract

½ cup butter

½ cup light brown sugar

3 eggs

mini-muffin/cupcake papers

mini-muffin pan

Leave butter and eggs out at room temperature for approximately one hour.

Set oven to 350 degrees F.

Once butter has softened add it to mixing bowl and cream it by gradually adding sugar until blended. Then add vanilla extract, eggs and condensed milk. Mix all ingredients well. Once mixed, add coconut and stir into mixture using a spatula. Once all ingredients are incorporated spoon into mini muffin cups and bake for approx. 15 – 20 minutes until they are slightly golden brown on top. Enjoy.

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Two weeks of preschool later, and I’m second guessing my decision to send him to school as we already have contracted our first preschool illness—pinkeye. Oh, I know that childhood illnesses are almost a rite of passage for preschoolers, and I’ve heard school likened to a Petri dish, but I honestly thought we would have at least a month of school under our belt before I had to write “sick emails” to his teacher.

While I admittedly found my son’s illness a little annoying and inconvenient at first, at the end of his sick day, I changed my tune. For the past four years, I have managed to have a very open schedule with my children. We have had a playgroup with friends that we have religiously attended and a German class once a week, but that has been it. No music classes, no soccer, no library story times. And that has been all by design because I have completely cherished our slow-paced days together. We can meet friends at the park on a whim and stay as long as we’d like because we have nowhere to be. We can spend all day driving out to the blueberry farm and having lunch in a little town on the way home without feeling like we were missing out on some other planned activity. For someone who is reluctant to commit to structured activities, the past four years have been a lazy bliss.

And this year, with the enrollment of my son in preschool, my gently rolling days have come to a halt. We now have somewhere to be in the mornings, and I have to watch the clock all day long so that I don’t incur the dreaded late pick up fee at his preschool. Just two weeks into the school year, and I found myself contemplating having a preschool dropout for a son. And then comes his pinkeye, and I was gifted with an unexpected day of relaxation. Although the day started off with a seismic battle over eye drops, my children and I quickly realized that it was going to be a fun day—a day of puzzles on the dining room floor, grabbing a scone at the coffee shop, and picking hot peppers from the garden. In the midst of a September that is more black ink than blank spaces on the calendar in the kitchen, this quiet day with just the three of us hanging out was a welcome oasis, a special treat, and it almost makes me look forward to the next sick day.

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We celebrated with the usual balloons and birthday cake but we also incorporated a bit of our Chinese and Korean cultures.

One popular tradition when the baby turns one is to try to predict the baby’s future by setting out several objects and letting her pick one. In the past, this might have included items like an abacus to symbolize a career in business and a book to represent a life as a scholar. There’s also thread for a long life.

We decided to have a little fun with it. We set out a microphone for the future American Idol, a push pin for the budding fashionista and/or Project Runway designer, a pencil for the next Hemingway, a golf ball for the future Michelle Wie, a tennis ball for the Venus or Serena Williams-in-training, a stethoscope for a doctor, a spool of the traditional thread, a book and an abacus.

We were at the playground for her birthday party, so we lined up all the objects up on the cement ledge that separates the sand pit from the rest of the park. Then we put our daughter down in the sand, a few feet away. She knew exactly what to do, crawling towards what must have seemed like a bunch of new toys — all for her!

She lunged first for the abacus. She also paused to consider the pencil and to pick up the golf and tennis balls. But then she went back to the abacus. We think the abacus must have looked like the best new toy, the shiny, colorful beads the perfect size for her little fingers, which she could move around and which each made a satisfying clicking sound.

Of course, what that means for her destiny is up to interpretation. Some of our party guests thought it meant she would become an accountant, though another said she could also be an engineer. Or maybe the CEO of some big business.

Given that she showed an interest in not just the abacus, but also the pencil and the balls, I’m hoping that not only will she be brilliant at math (unlike her mama) but also be athletic and a good writer. A mom can dream.

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It had been a while, 3 years to be exact, since my husband and I had made the trip into Pittsburgh for my grandmother’s mother’s Pernatozzi family reunion picnic. And yes, I said my grandmother’s mother’s side of the family; they’re 100% Italian, so to them the bonds of family, no matter how extended, seem to surpass time it-self. My father, (the Italian one of course), always emphasized the importance of family, no matter how distantly related; this taught me to treat everyone I met like a family member. Now, since I had not been to the picnic for a grand total of 3 years, (considered to be eons for the Pernatozzi side), it was ‘highly recommended’ that I make this trip. Italians can be so persistent! As my husband, 3 year-old toddler, and I drove in late on a Saturday night to attend the picnic, I wondered whether it was worth the extra effort. My answer was about to come.

When we approached the park site, a plethora of images ran through my head: I saw my Uncle Kevin leading the kid’s games like the egg toss or three-legged race. I saw the men gathered in a circle making gestures with their hands as they shouted out strange words like ‘due’ and ‘otto.’ I imagined my Grandmother and her sister swaying and singing along to Italian song, Funiculi Funicula. I envisioned figures in the distance tossing red and green balls toward a fixed target. And I could almost smell the sweet savory scent of smoked sausages through the intense summer heat.

We finally reach the picnic, and it’s as if no time has passed. There is still a spread of Italian sausage, fried eggplant, cheese, fruit and some American fare on the tables. There are still men within a circle playing the Italian hand game of morra. The competitive bocce game remains as distant cousins play games of horseshoe nearby. Dynamic would be far too temperate a word to describe the energy of the day; it was an explosive event full of life and energy. And that’s what I love about the Italian part of my family; they constantly remind me to live life to the fullest, although I think Laura Pausini sings it best in Andrea Bocelli’s song, Vivere,

“Try looking at tomorrow, not yesterday, and all the things you left behind. Oh those tender words you did not say, the gentle touch you couldn’t find. In these days of nameless faces, there’s no one truth, but only pieces. My life is all I have to give. Dare to live, until the very last. Dare to live, forget about the past. Dare to live, giving of your-self to others, even when it seems there’s nothing more left to give.”

I hope we can all ‘dare to live.’

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The following information is being borrowed from Dyhan Summers, a psychotherapist here in Delhi, who works with expats – singles, married couples, families and children.


She can be contacted via email at mindfulaction@yahoo.com.

I wanted to share it with you because – no matter your location – I feel it is one of a parents MOST important jobs, to teach your children compassion.  Compassion is not a character trait that can be easily learned once you reach adulthood.  It needs to be fostered, grown and encouraged while your children are still molding into what you’d like to see them become ::

A.  Definition of compassion.  The desire to assuage the feelings of suffering in others.  It is positive, not pity and is a combination of feeling and action
B.  Compassion vs competition; so much of a child’s life revolves around competition in school, sports and video games.  Competition stresses “me” and often works against compassion
C.  teaching compassion begins at home, communicate the benefits of compassion, how it makes us feel better about ourselves and also helps others
D.  be a positive role model for your children.  believe and practice compassion as a family with yourself and other family members
E.  talk about famous heroes – Mahatma Gandhi, MLK, the Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, etc.  Read kids appropriate biographies.
F.  use stories to bring out compassionate action

SO … what do you DO to teach compassion?

Some of my thoughts on how to easily teach and model compassion.

1.  Sign up to make dinner for a new neighbor, or someone who is ill or has just had a baby.  Instead of simply signing up and delivering a meal, take an extra step and involve your children.  Have them color a note to attach to the meal, or pick a favorite poem or song to write out for the recipient.

2.  Talk often about how we can be kind, generous, affectionate and loving to each other.  I want for my children to have the “awwww” response when they see an injured animal or a sad friend.  I want for them to have empathy and feel the best way is to consistently talk about feelings and how to help others.

3.  Sponsor a child, donate to a local (or far away) charity or collect items from your home to drop off at a battered womans shelter, or home for homeless children.

4.  Sponsor a collection drive amongst your friends.  Instead of gathering simply for coffee and fruit snacks, ask participants to BRING something that can then be gifted to others.

5.  Enlist the help of a savings bank like Preschool Money Manager to help children save, spend AND share their money.

6.  Visit the Kids Can Make a Difference website for some more amazing and quite simple ideas!

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I realized today how much exposure Jack gets to Mexican culture.  We live in the San Francisco bay area and Spanish is all around us.    We speak English natively at home, but there are deep roots in Mexico and Spain in our family.  My father, Jack’s grandfather, grew up in Mexico City and has a Mexican grandmother.  His family is mostly from Irish heritage and from California but moved to Mexico to so his father could work with a global engineering firm.  I remember the first time I noticed that my dad could speak Spanish.  I was 8 and we were in a cab in Puerto Vallarta and he was talking to the cabbie.  I was fascinated that my dad could speak in what seemed to be secret code.  I vowed to learn it myself someday.

I studied Spanish in high school, lived in Mexico for a summer before college, then minored in Spanish Literature and lived in Barcelona for a year in college.  Maybe it was in my genes but I always had an ear for language and could eventually pass for a native speaker.   I went on to work for a global manufacturing company in my 20s.  I would visit customers and conduct technical training in Spanish in Mexico, Argentina, Costa Rica, and even Brazil.

I often take my Spanish speaking skills for granted.   Our nanny, Ana, is from Mexico and prefers to speak Spanish with me.  We speak Spanish every day in front of the kids, discussing the day’s plans, etc.    Jack often plays with the nanny’s daughter who speaks a combination of English and Spanish.  Jack has picked up a lot of Spanish as younger kids do.  One of his first words was “jugo” for juice.  Some of the kids shows on TV also feature bilingual characters.

I suppose that to a 5 year old Californian, especially a third generation one, it just seem natural that everyone is bilingual.  I’ve been impressed with his ability to absorb Spanish and I’m sure he’ll be a fully fluent speaker just like his dad and his grandfather before him.  Feliz cumpleanos, Jack!

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When my son was seven weeks old, my husband’s parents flew across the country to visit us in Portland, OR. My little baby was already cementing his reputation as a squirmy, discontented infant when my mother-in-law returned from a thrift store shopping trip with The Toy. As soon as she pulled the brightly colored Kouvalias music toy out of her bag, my son was enchanted. He instantly stopped his squalling and reached his scrawny little arm out towards the gently bobbing yellow and red balls of the wooden Greek toy. From that day on, whenever the witching hour hit, all I had to do was settle him on a blanket and wind up the music toy. The swaying balls focused his mind, and the haunting melody emanating from the toy seemed to soothe his restless soul.

My son and his younger sister have moved on to other toys and pastimes—we are building towns out of blocks, baking muffins in the kitchen, and making up silly stories for each other. The little music toy, however, still sits on my dresser, and whenever I look at it, I have to smile a bittersweet smile. This little wooden toy not only reminds me of how mysterious and challenging and absolutely puzzling motherhood was at the beginning (and still is), but it also reminds me of just how far my children have come. While it takes a little more than some dancing wooden balls to fully capture my children’s attention these days, the music toy still has the power to make my children smile and laugh. And when I hear my son idly humming the wistful melody of the music toy while he plays with his wooden trains on the dining room floor, my heart soars and my eyes start to tear up just a little bit.

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By nature, I’m a pretty lazy person who likes to keep things uncomplicated. Children’s parties for our family involve no games, no decorations to speak of, and typically no outrageous theme. They are actually just get-togethers with our friends and families that happen on or around a child’s birthday and therefore involve cupcakes for dessert. Reflecting on this year’s birthday season, I have realized that most of the parties that I have organized have followed the following set of guidelines hereby known as “Throwing a Good Enough Birthday Party for the Preschool Set.”

1. Take it outside. My kids have the good fortune (from a party planning standpoint) of being born in the warm weather months, which admittedly in the South can stretch for most of the year. All of their parties therefore have occurred outside of our tiny home—on our back deck or in neighborhood parks. Not only can your forego the silly step of tidying your home just to have it trashed by children but the cleanup is so much easier when the party is outside. No worries about spilled drinks if they just land on the deck or the picnic bench!

2. Who needs games when there are bark chips? My kids are still young and really don’t care why their friends or grandparents have come over; they are just excited that there are so many wonderful people to play with. In the absence of adult created games and contests, the kids invariably create their own: How many cousins can fit in a cardboard box? How much bark can we pile onto the slide?

3. Don’t cater to the kids. Who wants to stop and eat when there is so much fun to be had? When my kids get together with a large group of their friends, they seldom stop to eat anything beyond fresh fruit and a birthday cupcake. Instead of planning meals and snacks around things that I know they will safely eat but that I find unappealing, food at recent birthday parties has included things like gourmet pizzas with garlicky spinach and pancetta, orzo vegetable salads, and Asian style cole slaw. The adults are happy not to be dining on hot dogs, and when the kids get hungry enough, you’ll be amazed by what they will agree to eat!

4. Forget the prepackaged theme. Save yourself a lot of time, trouble, and money and resist the urge to deck out the tablecloth, napkins, and party favors with some animated character’s visage. Instead, try decorating around a simple idea like summertime or snowflakes. For my son’s summertime party, we made pinwheels out of brightly colored paper to decorate his cake and used paper goods in primary colors. We let him pick the color for his cake’s icing which resulted in a memorable yellow frosting with an odd shade of puce as the accent color. My clever sister-in-law used the time of her son’s birthday party to create a fun party—she invited kids over for a Donut Party at 9 am and asked kids to come in their pajamas for some tasty breakfast treats.

5. Start your own traditions. Before my children were even a glint in my eye, I had bought a set of wooden circus animal candle holders. I have used these animals on every one of my children’s birthday cupcakes save one cake. And you know what? That cake just didn’t seem right with the little tiger and giraffe on it. Start a tradition with your children’s birthdays, and they will always remember it as will you.

6. It’s not about you. At the end of the day, if the kids have had fun, the party was a success. Keep it all in perspective and have a great time with your family and friends!

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Quite often, when one thinks of vacation, one’s mind is immediately drawn to places outside of the United States.  This year, my family found our-selves not on vacation, but residing at our home away from home, Kiawah Island, South Carolina.  My grandparents on my mother’s side have a home on Kiawah Island.  Strange as it is, my husband’s grandmother on his mother’s side also owns a home there.  We both feel a bond to that Island.  As kids, my husband and I remember the Kiawah that used to be.  We remember the quiet beaches, the local roadside vegetable markets, and the wonderful preservation of the surrounding ecosystem.  It was a place where people could embrace nature in a pure form without giving up the comforts of home.  It was a modern day lifestyle that embraced the efforts of the Kiawah Indians.  We brought our daughter to Kiawah this year, and as I watched her play in the surf, I felt a strange melancholy come over me; my daughter would never know the pure Kiawah that I knew.  The quiet beaches and no-fuss island life that I knew is slowly disappearing, and in its place stands a ritzier, more glamorous, and much more populated Kiawah.  It begged the question: what kind of Kiawah would we leave her? 

            Even as the island has gained recognition, it remains one of the most carefully preserved barrier islands that exist today; hopefully this will not change.  The Kiawah Island of old was owned by the Kiawah Indians, populated with wild horses racing through the waves.  In the 1980’s nature tours had to be given in a safari-like automobile while tourists were given a layout of the land in the midst of bobcats, wild horses, herons and alligators.  The natural habitat is authentic on Kiawah specifically because of the many laws that protect the wild life on the island.  For example, there are no street lights on Kiawah; the community does not want to disrupt the natural cycle for the animals.  Not only do the animals have the communities’ respect, but the actual land itself has immense respect from the people of Kiawah.  The fact that no building is permitted on the dunes certainly prevents any additional erosion.  I hope that my daughter gets to experience the ecosystem of Kiawah.  I hope that things do not become too commercialized.  Seeing my little one splash in the water made me realize just how simple it is to enjoy nature and how humans are naturally drawn toward natural wonders: waterfalls, beaches, mountains, caverns, lakes and valleys.   We all travel to see and experience these things.  There seems to be something within nature itself that is innately human.  Hopefully we won’t lose that piece of ourselves within nature as these areas that we love so dearly become more and more populated.   There is an Indian saying that I really connect with regarding these issues: ‘Mitakuye oyasin!’  Literally translated, it means: ‘we are all related.’  Hopefully we remember these words and treat the land as if we are all related, the ocean, the moon, the stars, the animals, the people; we are all related.

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