What India has already taught me [a.k.a what I’ve learned during this move to Delhi, and how it relates to marriage as I know it … a SAHM with two littles and a big kid at home, with a very hard-working husband] :

Let’s face it and be honest … when one spouse is working and the other is at home with the kids, there never really is a “good” time to talk during the day. Truthfully, even when evening approaches, time doesn’t magically make itself available either. Even more damaging to efforts at communication is a 9.5 hour time difference.

I’ve learned that in order for communication to happen, and actually flourish, both parties have to MAKE TIME. You don’t necessarily have to make time … at the same time. But the effort does need to be made.

When you phone your husband, understand that he might not be able to make the time right at that moment. He may be in the middle of changing oil, performing a root canal, negotiating a contract or in the middle of a therapy session (or whatever it is your hubby does). You don’t have any control over how his day progresses or entails, no matter how pressing YOUR issue happens to be.

What you DO have control over though, is making time when HE calls YOU to carve out even 5 minutes to concentrate your energy on listening to what he has to say.

Yes, I know. You might be in the middle of making lunch, homework or refereeing an argument. Even more disconcerting, you may be in the process of herding your children out to the car for an outing. You may have just hung up from an hour on the phone with your electric company arguing about a bill or just finished speaking with a teacher about a behavior issue. There’s also a huge possibility that when he calls that you’re in the middle of a diaper change, cleaning up vomit from one of your pets or knee deep in laundry.

Whatever you are doing, make the conscious effort — if you can — to STOP what you’re doing … and listen. I am still working on learning how to effectively verbalize to Todd that sometimes I really can’t devote any time to a phone conversation (because of circumstances on my end of the phone) … and there are some times when he WISHES I’d just not answered the phone (when the kids are screaming banshees!).

I need to make more of an effort to explain quickly that I will be able to talk … after I finish changing a diaper, or get the kids loaded up in the car. Then I’ve effectively communicated where I’m at in my day and we can hopefully have a good conversation, maybe just a bit later in the day.

Another thing we have learned and put in place – actually long before India came about — is a “two ring system.” If I call him during the day at work and he doesn’t answer, we have put a system into place whereby I call again right away. If I’ve “rung twice,” it means that I need him to call me back ASAP, step out of a meeting, or otherwise make himself available to me.

The conversation that happens in those five minutes can either be positive or negative. Might as well give it a go to ensure that they are positive!

What tips and tricks do you have for making time in your marriages and relationships?

As I am daydreaming about my plans (and not yet planned activities!) for the weekend and relishing in the fact that I live in a city that ALWAYS has something exciting going on, I thought of a conversation I had not too long ago with my mom.  Living in the city doesn’t afford you much square footage, so you can’t go crazy and buy every specialty gadget you see on the “As Seen on TV” commercials (like the hot dog and bun warmer I’ve been eyeing for a while!)  When I moved into my first place in the city, I had to look for household items that could play double duty.  I guess the gravy boat warmer would have to wait until I could afford a bigger place.

One big thing that I’ve learned over the years is simplicity.  As a card carrying member of the “everything but the kitchen sink sized purse” club, I’ve taken many a hard lesson on keeping things simple.  This is especially true for multitasking moms and dads who don’t have nearly enough arms (or strength!) to carry everything their busy tots need in a single day.  A great way to cut down on the clutter is with the Orbit Baby Infant System.  It’s a great system that uses a universal base that allows you to upgrade from bassinet to stroller, and also transforms into a safe and easy to install car seat. 

Leigh Rawdon, Tea’s CEO and co-founder said that the reason she loves the orbit is because it’s easy to pack and use on the run.  Her favorite feature?  The fact that you can easily open the stroller with a single hand, and take the pod off of the base to reduce the clutter when you take it into a store or cafe.  The stroller base allows the bassinet to swivel around so that you can give your little citizen a 360 view, and open their world to new sights!  Such the fan of the Orbit Baby, Leigh has been able to use it for both of her kids. 

And as if the Orbit Baby could get any better, the company has both internal and external initiatives to help save our planet and take care of the people in our communities.  Not only do they produce a baby transport system that is chemical free, eco-friendly, and safety-certified, but they also do lots to make sure that they are keeping their carbon footprint small, and give back to different initiatives that help both the children and our environment, including a recycling program for parents and kids who have outgrown their Orbit.  You can check out the full gamete of their initiatives here.  We love the Orbit Baby for those reasons and so many more, and we think you will too!

Summer’s in full swing, and we’re enjoying every minute of the nice weather. Besides taking our munchkin to the local pool/lake/beach when we can, here’s a cool, cheap and easy way to deal with the heat. One of our faves is making popsicles! A big hit with kids and adults alike.

There are probably a ton of recipes out there, but this is one I came up with that my son likes that doesn’t contain a lot of sugar. Popsicles are very forgiving so you don’t really need exact measurements; just taste to see if it’s to your liking.

Ingredients:

– diced or pureed fresh fruits (peaches, mangoes, strawberries*) or substitute pureed frozen fruit

– yogurt (we use whole milk yogurt)

– juice (we use pear or apple juice)

– a little bit of honey

Put ingredients — roughly 1/3 fruit, 1/3 yogurt, and 1/3 juice, plus a little bit of honey — in popsicle container (I use the KidCo popsicle container because the portions are just right for toddlers and it makes eight individual popsicles, plus it is safer plastic), stir (we use a chopstick), and stick in the freezer for a few hours. Voila! To take the popsicles out, run some room temperature water over the container and gently twist them out.

*I noticed that even the sweetest strawberries taste sour when frozen, so you’ll need to add a little bit more honey and juice than the other fruits.

Another easy one is using watermelon juice, which is pretty sweet to begin with. I just add a tad of honey, and no yogurt or other juice. It’s also a good recipe for kids who don’t eat dairy or yogurt.

Please post your own recipes in the comments section! I’m always looking for more ideas, especially yummy fruits to work with. Let me know!

I’ve always liked the idea of a “babymoon.” One last trip before the exhaustion of third trimester hits and before life gets a lot more hectic when a new baby arrives. A few months before my daughter was born my husband Jeff and I had a great time traveling to Belgium and London. During my second pregnancy my husband, our 21-month-old daughter Zoe and I took a trip to New England. We had a lot of fun on this trip despite it being the rainiest June in a couple of decades. Of course, the trip was not as relaxing as our first babymoon had been but we did get a little R&R in between running after a toddler.

Jeff has wanted to go to Maine for years so I had promised that the first summer that we were living on the East coast we would go. But last summer we ended up making so many trips for weddings and family visits that there was no time left for the Maine trip. This summer we figured that because of the pregnancy we are exempt from such family visits which involve long plane trips and we’re missing the two weddings we are invited to because they are too close to my due date. So we decided to take advantage of a summer off from travel obligations and take a 2-week road trip to New England.

The biggest challenge of the trip was that we did a lot of driving and Zoe (a real city kid) has spent very little time in the car and absolutely hates even a short drive. We tried to plan our drives around her nap time so she’d sleep for most of the trip though a few of our drives were just too long for her to nap the whole time. Long drives aren’t much fun to begin with but with a screaming toddler in the back seat being stuck in the car is even less fun!

In Maine our protein-shunning daughter was introduced to (and couldn’t get enough of) lobster, clams, muscles and scallops. Zoe also learned about another culinary love on this trip –ice cream. We introduced her to hiking in Arcadia National Park which she also loved though she only walked a short bit of the way on her own. For most of the hike Jeff carried her in a backpack which we figured put us on about even ground. Other highlights were the beaches in Maine and Martha’s Vinyard (when we had nice weather) and the Andrew Wyatt museum and Olsen house near Camden, Maine.

All in all the trip wasn’t as relaxing as our first “babymoon” when we had no kids but it was a wonderful family trip and it was well worth doing before we become a family of four.

Santa Cruz has more to offer than the beach boardwalk. Even if you can’t do an overnight, it’s possible to do a bunch of fun stuff on a day trip. When we visited last weekend, I noticed lots of families hanging out everywhere. Definitely a kid-friendly beach town!

Here’s a quick itinerary:

-A must see is Natural Bridges Beaches. It’s not as widely known as the Boardwalk beach or even Seabright Beach.  NB is small and sweet. There are literally rock formations that create bridges in the water. Even better, there is a visitor center and a trail that is home to monarch butterflies in the winter.

– For the gardener in you, visit the arboretum at UC Santa Cruz. Their land has a world class living collection and their garden store always has plants for purchase at excellent prices.

–Marianne’s ice cream is a locally owned parlor with original and homemade flavors like lavender and ginger. In a big group, try the giant sundae that comes with over 10 scoops!

– Skip the Borders and head over to Bookshop Santa Cruz on Pacific Ave. has something for the whole family. It’s one of the best independent books stores around and still thriving. They have an extensive children’s book collection with books from many cultures. There’s a cute play area for the young ones too.

-Ride the Giant Dipper. You can still stop by the boardwalk for an hour to get in line to ride the big dipper. Just buy tickets and enjoy!

– Snack on fish tacos! Local fish make tasty tacos and they’re real easy to find. I recommend snapper and salmon tacos at Taqueria Santa Cruz

-The kids will love Pizza My Heart. They have plenty of veggie and vegan options for the super health conscious!

Let us know if you have any favorite Santa Cruz spots to share.

My three year old seems to be developing new food aversions by the day.  As a mom, I’m trying to figure out ways to make healthy food fun for her, or perhaps even sneak a bit of veggies or extra fruit into her meals without her knowledge!  As a child, my parents introduced me to foods of multiple cultures and ethnic backgrounds.  I want to provide the same experience for my child, but she is beginning to voice her own opinion more (a good thing), and with that comes the typical ‘I don’t like that!’ (not such a good thing).  In search of ways to help my toddler become more open-minded towards healthful cuisine, I found some interesting tips and techniques that I would like to share.

A few tips for Moms

Determine ‘why’ your child dislikes a specific kind of food.

1.       Does he or she have an aversion to certain types of texture?

2.       Does he or she have an aversion to a specific flavor or spice?

3.       Is he or she afraid to try something new?

4.       Does he or she enjoy the food unknowingly with other flavors present?

Knowing what the ‘aversion’ is will actually help you to re-create the same food in a more appealing light.  Below are a few specific techniques to recreate the dish that your child dislikes.

1.        If your child dislikes nuts, but you want to include some healthy omega 3’s in his or her diet, simply pulse walnuts in a food processor until they reach a flour-like consistency.  Then mix your nut puree into the dry ingredients of your favorite recipe.   They can replace some of the ‘bad fat’ in a cake, muffins or even dessert bread.

2.        Puree, Puree, Puree!  Pulse those veggies down in a food processor until your little one has no idea that your pasta sauce has pureed zucchini, broccoli and red peppers within it!  Just be sure that you cook your veggies before you puree them.  They are much smoother that way.  You could even grill the vegetables to add some extra flavor before you puree.  Or puree a banana and some berries to add moisture and fiber to your muffin mix.

3.       Sub ¼ canola oil for the typical amount of butter you use in a muffin batch.

4.       Substituting whole wheat flour can be a bit rough in texture for the typical young palate.  Try whole wheat pastry flour instead in your cakes, breads and muffins.  I like to use a 1:1 ratio of whole wheat pastry flour to white flour.  This adds fiber and nutrients to your baked goods without weighing it down, as whole wheat flour tends to do.

5.       Take your little one to a farmers market.   Make selecting veggies and fruits fun!  They can even pick a few out and tell you what they enjoy eating!

6.        Pick pumpkins at a local pumpkin patch in the fall or go strawberry picking at a local farm midsummer.  Don’t just make healthy foods accessible on your table, but show where they come from as well.